Bad Sex?

Okay, I've been nattering about his since yesterday, so I had to post it here.
This link will take you to the Literary Review's Award for the WORST sex scene. Yes, I said worst...and boy do I mean it! These passages are horrendous! And people think we women romance writers are bad. Well, these offenders, most men, beat us hands down!
I especially "loved" the one about the 'Lobster'. If anyone can explain it to me, please try!!

http://books.guardian.co.uk/departments/generalfiction/story/0,6000,1652812,00.html

Until next time...